What Colour is Your Wind, Daddy

(with apologies to Charlie Landsborough)

What colour is your wind, Daddy
Is it yellow, red or blue,
When it stinks like something skinned, Daddy
Does it smell the same for you.
When it’s dying does its colour fade
Is a silent one a lighter shade
Just like a rotten tree
Your wind seems brown to me.

Blow, wind, blow
Smell flows free
My Daddy’s wind
Smells like shite to me

When the room fills with your stink, Daddy,
Does your face turn brightly red
Do you blush and go all pink, Daddy,
When insulting words are said
When it spreads its foulness in the air
And the smell forever lingers there
How I wish I could be drugged
Or your arsehole could be plugged.

Blow, wind, blow
Smell flows free
My Daddy’s wind
Smells like shite to me

I know that grass is green Daddy
I’ve touched it with my toes
But your farts are just obscene, Daddy
I smelled them with my nose
But your favourite habit has to be
Blasting loudly after beans for tea
Now Daddy you’ve been told
Your fucking wind must be controlled..

Blow, wind, blow
Smell flows free
My Daddy’s wind
Smells like shite to me

Just to be fair, here’s Charlie Landsborough’s original: